Holy shit, I'm white

I was in the mood for some light reading. I heard something on NPR about the newest David Sedaris book, so I went to Left Bank to make the purchase.

They didn't have the book in stock, but another one in comedy caught my eye:

"The Definitive Guide To Stuff White People Like, The Unique Taste of Millions" by Christian Lander.

This is some funny shit. And as it turns out, much of his findings hit very close to home. There is an entry (#25) on Davis Sedaris and another (#44) on public radio. Oh shit, I'm fucked, I'm white! Or wait, I mean, I'm set. Or....never mind, see for yourself.

Anyhow, there are 150 separate entries on, you guessed it, stuff white people like. It is written as a kind of guide for the reader who is trying to understand, and get along with urban white people. That is just part of the hilarity. If you are white, and offended, you are supposed to be. The last 7 pages are devoted to a check list and simple formula to determine just how white you are on a percentage basis.

I can't wait to see where I score. I'll post the numeric value and highlights as soon as I finish.

Since this is a STL blog, here's a pertinent entry from the book:

#73 Gentrification: "In general, white people love situations where they can't lose. While this is already true for most of their lives, perhaps the safest bet a white person can make is to buy a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood.
White people like to live in these neighborhoods because they get credibility and respect from other white people for living in a more "authentic" neighborhood where they are exposed to "true culture" every day. So whenever their friends mention their homes in the suburbs or wealthier urban areas, these people can say, "Oh it's so boring out there, so fake. In our neighborhood, things are just more real." This superiority is important as white people jockey for position in their circle of friends. They are like modern day Lewises and Clarks, except that instead of searching for the ocean, they are searching for old houses to renovate.
In a few years, if more white people start moving in, these initial trailblazers will sell their property for triple what they paid and move into an ultramodern home. Credibility or money; either way, they can't lose!
When one of these white people tells you where they live, you should say, "Whoa, it's pretty rough down there. I don't think I could live there." This will make them feel even better about their credibility and status as neighborhood pioneers."

Hilarious. Probably written with Brooklyn in mind, but applies to STL as well, no?